We are all going to get old one day. Older adults are not second class citizens. Many people will develop behavioural difficulties as they get older. Cognitive decline and its associated confusion can be a terrifying experience. We endorse the approaches of the late Professor Tom Kitwood who argued that services should attempt to understand an older adult from their unique and individual perspective. An essential aim of our approach is to encourage staff to support the person and manage their behaviour in a dignified way. Although it may sound like a 'cliché' most of us will become customers of elderly care services one day. If we ask the question 'how would I like to be treated' the answer will usually involve good behaviour management approaches.