autism and ***uality

[cookie62]

My grandson has high functioning Autism and is eleven, but very well developed physically for his age. We are all devastated to learn that he has been interfeing ***ually with his four year old cousins, - a boy and a girl. the parents of the children do not want him anywhere near their house, and will not come to mine if he is there. His mother is in peices. the first time we had fears, we sought proffessional avice, and he was given specialised *** education, and counciling, but all that has happened is that he has become more cunning and secretive and has gone further. Also he can lie very convincingly.
Has anyone else had this problem?

[cookie62]

has no one at all had problems like this as their child developed physically? Please some one answer.

[sue hatton]

Two things strike me about the issue with your grandson......firstly ***uality and asd are very complex......children have poor self awareness and self udnerstanding. Some children and young people and adults with ASD are not sure about their gender or other peoples gender let alone their ***uality...so there is much work to be done that does not get covered in ***uality and relationship eduction in schools in fact I would go as far as to say what is covered in the school curriculum can even cause harm and certainly confusion.........( as a previous teacher covering this area of the curriculum I belive I did this, certainly brought confusion and possibly even harm - hence the need to do more research and I have done a bit)there are I belive building blocks to uderstanding about ***uality and the first of these is understanding self........I did a small piece of reserach around this issue a couple of years ago and it is this undersanding of self that came out as the foundation building block that gets missed........There are two books I have found particulary helpful,,,,,,,I'm growing up - relationship and ***uality eduction for young people with ASD by Rebecca Johns and for teenagers "Making sense of ***" ( a forthright guide to puberty, *** and relationships for people with AS) by Sarah Attwood

the second thing that strikes me is that a special interest in genitils could occur and this would be difficlt to deal with.....but with work on self awareness and self udnerstanding that inckdued an awareness of their own ASD and the nature of special interests would help.

sorry to be brief.........an area of real interest for me.......I have worked with a number of adults for whom being a ***ual being causes such pain and confusion....we need to do better in schools to help chidlren with ASD understand themselvs, value themselves and be at ease with who they are....
all the best
Sue H