forumAdmin
12-02-2009, 10:00 PM
More than one of these has happened to me while giving support
This is why we don't like telephone support
> =================================
> *Tech support:* What kind of computer do you have?
> Female customer:* A white one...
>
>
> ===============
> *Customer:* Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
> *Tech support:* Have you tried pushing the Button?
> *Customer:* Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
> *Tech support:* That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
> *Customer:* No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
> still on my desk... sorry....
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
> screen.
> *Customer:* Your left or my left?
>
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* Good day. How may I help you?
> *Male customer:* Hello... I can't print.
> *Tech support:* Would you click on 'Start' for me and...
> *Customer:* Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
> Bill Gates.
>
> ===============
> *
> Customer:* Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
> time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer
> and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
> can't find it...
>
> ============== =
> *
> Customer:* I have problems printing in red..
> *Tech support:* Do you have a colour printer?
> *Customer:* Ahhhh... thank you.
>
> =============== *
>
> Tech support:* What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
> *Customer:* A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woollies.
>
> ===============
> *
> Customer:* My keyboard is not working anymore.
> *Tech support:* Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
> *Customer:* No. I can't get behind the computer.
> *Tech support:* Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
> *Customer:*! OK
> *Tech support: * Did the keyboard come with you?
> Customer: Yes
> *Tech support:* That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
> another keyboard?
> *Customer:* Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
>
> ===============
> *
>
> Tech support:* Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a
> capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
> *Customer:* Is that 7 in capital letters ?
>
> == =============
> *
> Customer:* can't get on the Internet.
> *Tech support:* Are you sure you used the right password?
> *Customer:* Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
> *Tech support:* Can you tell me what the password was?
> *Customer:* Five stars.
>
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* What anti-virus program do you use?
> *Customer:* Netscape.
> *Tech support:* That's not an anti-virus program.
> *Customer:* Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.
>
> ===============
> *
> Customer:* I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
> on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
>
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* How may I help you?
> *Customer:* I'm writing my first e-mail.
> *Tech support:* OK, and what seems to be the problem?
> *Customer:* Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
> get the circle around it?
>
> ===============
>
> A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> printer.
> *Tech support:* Are you running it under windows?
> *Customer:* 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
> point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
> and his printer is working fine.'
>
> ===============
>
> And last but not least...
> *
> Tech support:* 'Okay Colin, let's press the Control and Escape keys at
> the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
> Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
> *Customer:* I don't have a P.
> *Tech support:* On your keyboard, Colin.
> *Customer: * What do you mean?
> *Tech support:* 'P'... on your keyboard, Colin.
>
> *Customer:* I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
>
This is why we don't like telephone support
> =================================
> *Tech support:* What kind of computer do you have?
> Female customer:* A white one...
>
>
> ===============
> *Customer:* Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
> *Tech support:* Have you tried pushing the Button?
> *Customer:* Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
> *Tech support:* That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
> *Customer:* No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
> still on my desk... sorry....
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
> screen.
> *Customer:* Your left or my left?
>
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* Good day. How may I help you?
> *Male customer:* Hello... I can't print.
> *Tech support:* Would you click on 'Start' for me and...
> *Customer:* Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
> Bill Gates.
>
> ===============
> *
> Customer:* Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
> time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer
> and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
> can't find it...
>
> ============== =
> *
> Customer:* I have problems printing in red..
> *Tech support:* Do you have a colour printer?
> *Customer:* Ahhhh... thank you.
>
> =============== *
>
> Tech support:* What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
> *Customer:* A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woollies.
>
> ===============
> *
> Customer:* My keyboard is not working anymore.
> *Tech support:* Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
> *Customer:* No. I can't get behind the computer.
> *Tech support:* Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
> *Customer:*! OK
> *Tech support: * Did the keyboard come with you?
> Customer: Yes
> *Tech support:* That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
> another keyboard?
> *Customer:* Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
>
> ===============
> *
>
> Tech support:* Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a
> capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
> *Customer:* Is that 7 in capital letters ?
>
> == =============
> *
> Customer:* can't get on the Internet.
> *Tech support:* Are you sure you used the right password?
> *Customer:* Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
> *Tech support:* Can you tell me what the password was?
> *Customer:* Five stars.
>
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* What anti-virus program do you use?
> *Customer:* Netscape.
> *Tech support:* That's not an anti-virus program.
> *Customer:* Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.
>
> ===============
> *
> Customer:* I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
> on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
>
> ===============
> *
> Tech support:* How may I help you?
> *Customer:* I'm writing my first e-mail.
> *Tech support:* OK, and what seems to be the problem?
> *Customer:* Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
> get the circle around it?
>
> ===============
>
> A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> printer.
> *Tech support:* Are you running it under windows?
> *Customer:* 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
> point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
> and his printer is working fine.'
>
> ===============
>
> And last but not least...
> *
> Tech support:* 'Okay Colin, let's press the Control and Escape keys at
> the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
> Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
> *Customer:* I don't have a P.
> *Tech support:* On your keyboard, Colin.
> *Customer: * What do you mean?
> *Tech support:* 'P'... on your keyboard, Colin.
>
> *Customer:* I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
>